Knowing what to do after a break up can be hard. Especially if this has been a long term relationship spanning over a decade or so of your life.

You can get peace of mind knowing that you walked away from something that wasn’t right. Even if the breakup wasn’t your decision you can find peace in knowing you aren’t in a one sided relationship.

Being single allows you to improve yourself, grow and develop. You are not alone and now is a great time to meet new people and make new friendships as a singleton.

Here are some of the ways you can become more independent in your newly single life.

What To Do After a Break Up

Find a new place to live

Often, after a break up you will need to find a new place to live. Maybe you were living in a home that belonged to your partner

Perhaps after a split, neither of you can afford the property you were living in and have to go your separate ways

You might choose to move house after a breakup since a property can harbour lots of memories. This could be painful if you stay and hinder your recovery so moving is often the best choice.

If you’re on a budget, you could always look for a studio apartment for rent on your own. It might be small but you could make it home.

This could give you the chance to save up for your own place. Or even just for a six months to a year breather so you can move onto your next permanent home without having to rush the decision.

Sort out your finances

Speaking of saving up, your next step after a breakup would be to get your finances in order.

You will need to decide how assets are split up. If you’re married this could involve the help of a solicitor. You’ll need to close any joint bank accounts, and make sure that joint bills are paid up and sorted out.

You’ll need to work out all of your outgoings again, ensuring that you can afford everything on your own salary.

Learn to drive

If you don’t already drive, it’s well worth learning to do so.

Being able to drive and having access to your own vehicle gives you so much independence. It’s a goal you can set for yourself, and it gives you something to work on which can also be useful when you’re going through a difficult time.

You might feel like you can’t afford a car, but actually if you add up your bus fares, train tickets, taxis and uber costs for the month you might find that driving will work out a lot cheaper. Take a read of my car buying advise post and make sure you get the best car for you.

You can get to work easily, you can visit friends, you can travel to new places and even go shopping much more conveniently with a car. If you need to get somewhere, there’s no messing around asking for lifts or working out public transport. You can hop in your car and go.

Get a hobby

In a couple it’s easy to drop things like hobbies. You can end up becoming a single unit, instead of going out and pursuing your own interests. There are so many Hobbies for women which can help you meet like minded new friends, and these can now be for your enjoyment alone rather than as a couple after a break up.

Use this as a time to find out what you enjoy again. Whether you choose to play a sport, start reading, or play metal slug or another retro video game that you used to love, starting a hobby or re-joining one that you used to love can be a great way to find your happy place.

It’s a great way to socialise, meet new people and spend your time productively. If you choose a hobby that keeps you fit, you can essentially kill two birds with one stone. A lot of newly single people look to their local gym as a way of letting of steam and improving their fitness.

Rope in a friend to come to the gym or to a class with you. It’s time that you can socialise as well as tone up, lose weight and feel fantastic.

You could take an evening class at a local college, or even start a hobby from home. 

Take blogging for example, there’s still lots of opportunities to meet people. There are lots of meet ups and social media parties thrown by those that enjoy the hobby.

Be independant

Finally, doing things without your partner can take a bit of getting used to after a break up.

It’s not to say you need to always be alone, after all, friends and socialising is important. But it’s the day to day things that can take a little adjustment- get used to cooking for one, sleeping in bed on your own and doing the tasks around the house that your partner once did.

Even going out and grocery shopping by yourself can feel strange if you always did it with your partner, but you’ll soon adapt. And actually, doing things alone can feel really empowering.

It reminds you that you are strong and capable. Chances are you’ll be more efficient since there’s no need to compromise with anyone else.

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