You have surely heard the saying, “Sleep when they sleep.” Well, that is a great bit of advice, and all is well and good if you have a live-in nanny and housekeeper who will take care of everything while you are down. Since that is not the reality for most people, you need a plan. Continue reading to learn about some helpful tips that just might help you forge a path through those first few foggy months of being a new mom.
Being A New Mom
Find the Right Advice
As you may have noticed, people like to offer new moms a lot of unsolicited advice. Some people truly mean well and only want the best for you, others believe their way is the only way, and some have a subversive agenda in mind. You need to separate the helpful information from the misinformation and disinformation to find the right advice for you. And by the way, what works for your best friend might not work for you and your baby simply because every mom and baby is different.
Check out this article for sound advice on how to deal with the sleep regression that will inevitably arrive in your home. Just when you think you have this mom thing down, your baby decides that sleep is optional. It happens. Take a breath and find the best resources to handle this new twist on your path to a good night’s sleep for everyone in the house.
Have Some Responses in Your Arsenal
As touched on above, everybody has something to say. With that in mind, it can be helpful to know how you might respond when something unnecessary or unappreciated comes your way. Since these moments can be awkward between good friends, well-meaning neighbors, family members who think they are always right, or strangers in the grocery store, having a few stock phrases at the ready is a good thing for your sanity. Gentle reminder: You never need to explain yourself to anyone other than your partner.
Here are some to keep in mind:
- Thanks, but I have my own plan. (You do not need to further the conversation by sharing your plan.)
- Interesting thought, but I’ll stick with science.
- I’ve decided not to share that since people have so many polarizing opinions. Great shirt, by the way!
- I know you did it your way when you raised us, but times have changed, and this is my role now. I’d appreciate it if you respect that.
- Thanks, have a good day. (And walk away quickly to the produce aisle if you are in the grocery store.)
- (Reach into your pocket and pretend to get a phone call.) Stage whisper: I’ve got to take this and walk away.
Let Go of a Perfect Ideal
Perfection is unattainable in life as a party of one. Add a partner, a baby, maybe two or three kids, and you are done with all of that. You can still strive for the ideal you want, but make it something you do for yourself and your family, not for social media or everyone else. If you like a very clean house (good luck), keep it clean on your own, with help from the family, or by hiring a professional housecleaning service. Just do not pretend that cleanliness and kids are normal, especially after a new baby arrives in your household.
If you like your hair perfectly coiffed with a blowout and beach waves, great. But do you have time to style it each day without letting other things go? If not, go ahead and style your hair every week or every few days based on your preferred hair washing schedule. In between washings, opt for partial up-dos, ponytails, sleek buns, and hats. Hats are great for moms.
Keep reminding yourself that what you see online, even in your friends’ posts, might not be their true reality. It is only a highly curated version of what they want the world to see. Social media is performative. It is okay for you to step back from it. Post less, follow less, hide accounts that do not bring value to your life, or unfollow them altogether. These people are not perfect. Many of the so-called influencers have a team that helps them behind the scenes. They also spend hours on one small post. All you see is the result. Do not compare your new mom life to that.
Find Time to Move Your Body Every Day
Hmmm. This might not sound like something that is even remotely attainable as a new mom. Well, if your body is well enough post-delivery and the baby is healthy, you can and should move your body every day. Take note, moms, you do not have to train for a marathon. You do not have to leave the comfort of your neighbourhood, pack up the baby, find someone to watch them, and sweat away for hours.
All you need to do is move. Take the baby out for a leisurely walk in the stroller. Aim for 10 minutes. That is all. If you have a dog, bring them along. Yes, the leash and the stroller are a bit awkward at first, but after the first stroller-dog walk, you will have it down. And it will most definitely take longer than 10 minutes just to get everything you need prepared to leave the house, but do it anyway. If the weather is uncooperative, put the baby in a carrier and walk around the house or do lunges for 10 minutes while you listen to music. If the baby is too big, put them down for some tummy time on their playmat and do jumping jacks nearby. They will probably be enthralled by your antics. All you need to do is move. You will feel better for your efforts.
Build a Flexible Routine That Works for Your Family
One of the biggest adjustments during the newborn stage is accepting that every day will look a little different. While your baby may not be ready for a strict schedule, creating a flexible routine can make life feel much more manageable. Instead of planning your day around the clock, focus on establishing simple rhythms that fit your family’s needs. Feeding, diaper changes, naps, and short periods of play naturally become the foundation of your daily routine.
Remember that routines are meant to reduce stress, not create more of it. If your baby has a difficult day or skips a nap, it does not mean you’re doing anything wrong. Flexibility is one of the most valuable parenting skills you can develop. As your baby grows, their sleep patterns and feeding schedules will change, and your routine will evolve alongside them.
Keeping realistic expectations can also help ease the transition into motherhood. Some days you’ll accomplish everything on your to-do list, while other days simply keeping your baby fed, loved, and comforted is more than enough. Those are successful days too.
Prioritize Your Mental Health Without Feeling Guilty
Caring for your mental health is just as important as caring for your baby’s physical needs. The postpartum period brings enormous physical, emotional, and hormonal changes, and it is completely normal to experience moments of overwhelm. However, if feelings of sadness, anxiety, or exhaustion become persistent or begin interfering with daily life, do not hesitate to reach out to your healthcare provider. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Self-care for new moms does not have to mean spa days or expensive getaways. Sometimes it looks like taking a shower without rushing, enjoying a hot cup of coffee while someone else holds the baby, reading a few pages of a book, or stepping outside for five minutes of fresh air. Small moments of rest and recovery add up over time.
Most importantly, give yourself permission to ask for help. Whether it’s your partner, family, friends, or a trusted neighbor, accepting support allows you to recharge so you can continue caring for your little one. A healthy, supported mom is one of the greatest gifts a baby can have.
Becoming A New Mom
Bringing a baby into your life is a major paradigm shift. Nothing will ever be the same again. But once the baby is home, if you take a look at your life, do you really want it to go completely back to the way it was? Make small changes and adjustments, find sound parenting information that works for you, and take a nap if you can.
Becoming a new mom is one of life’s most rewarding experiences, but it also comes with challenges that no one can fully prepare you for. Give yourself grace as you learn, grow, and adjust to this new chapter. Every baby is different, and every parenting journey is unique, so trust your instincts while relying on trusted resources when you need guidance. Focus on progress rather than perfection, celebrate the small victories, and remember to care for yourself along the way. With patience, flexibility, and support, you’ll build confidence and discover the parenting routine that works best for you and your growing family.
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