If you’ve been in the same relationship for a long time, knowing how to keep the spark alive is a key ingredient to happiness.

All relationships will evolve over time. It would be very strange if you remained in that initial phase, where everything is novel and affection is at its most intense. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t rediscover the spark after those first few weeks, months and years. After all, this is a romantic association, not a business partnership. This goes for all relationship styles no matter how many people are involved in it.

So, if you’ve found that your spark has been dampened, what’s the best way to get it going again? 

It’s a good idea to try several different strategies, preferably simultaneously. It’s always a good idea to maintain and improve relationships with other people and your nearest and dearest are the most important.

Make a big gesture and start the hunt for the perfect engagement ring or plan a romantic vacation.

How to Keep the Spark Alive

Keep them guessing

One of the things that made those first few months exciting was that you didn’t know quite what to expect. Novelty is something that we look for in a relationship. When you don’t know anything about the other person, it’s easy to come by. But when you’ve been living with them for years on end, you might find that there are fewer surprises.

All of which is a great reason to put in some surprises of your own. Do something special, like going out for a meal, even when the occasion isn’t special. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to do this. The thought and the event are enough to help bring that bit of romance back into play.

Plan a regular date night

At a certain point in a relationship, you need to start planning your dates. If you don’t, then you might find that you never have the time – or the energy.

Set aside one night a month to eat out, and another three to have a special meal at home. Simply calling it ‘date night’ will help to make it feel more romantic – but you can add other touches to contribute to the same effect. Having mood lights and romantic music setting the scene will certainly help things feel more alive when having date nights at home.

Give gifts

You can’t spend your way into a healthy, rewarding relationship – but the occasional surprise gift might contribute to that sense of novelty we’ve mentioned. Your choice of gift will depend on your partner’s taste. If you’d like to relaunch your sex life, then lingerie might be an appropriate choice.

Gifts don’t have to always be of an intimate nature. Knowing your loved one’s tastes will help indicate which type of gift is most suitable.

Do chores together

When one of you is doing a chore – whether it’s cooking, cleaning, or putting up a TV stand – you might feel a sort of bubbling low-level resentment toward the other. This is especially problematic when it becomes a habit. So, get around this by doing a particular activity together.

Work out together

Everyone should exercise, to some degree or other, daily exercise is really good for physical and mental health.

If you’re doing it together, then you’re finding time to bond over your chosen activity. For most couples, a long walk at a given time of the week is the best way to go about it – but if you’re sporty, you might have something more intense in mind.