Confidence and independence are virtues difficult to cultivate, especially so for women – who, with recent stories of systemic injustice and gendered violence, seem more than ever to be the target of a suppressive campaign.

Independence in particular is not a simple thing to achieve for anyone, let alone women who have historically suffered societal barriers to it.

In a western world that has only recently adopted votes for women, other aspects of life naturally remain woefully behind in terms of equality and equity.

Be a Confident and Independent Woman

It is hard not to internalise this as a woman brought up within that society – but how do you challenge that paradigm?

Here are some suggestions for contradicting that internalised misogyny, and for allowing yourself the freedom to become the independent, confident woman you deserve to be.

Make decisions alone

You absolutely do not need anyone’s permission to make decisions – however major or minor they may be. Indeed, small decisions made alone can be the perfect gateway to more independent living.

Another’s approval is not needed to change your mobile phone contract, or to go to the shops for some treats. Rather than looking for tacit approval, instead, give yourself that approval.

Learn to enjoy time alone

It can be hard to reconcile stories of gendered violence in public with independence ambitions, but ‘reclaiming the street’ is a key tenet of protest action – not just concerning recent history, but also historically. You have every right to take a train into town and enjoy a day’s shopping alone, and you should exercise that right as often as you would like.

On a personal level, learning to love this alone time can be tough too. But being, and doing, alone is a radical act that can fill you with positive energy. So indulge yourself! And do it without permission!

Get to grips with life admin

There are boring parts to becoming fully confident and independent; namely, Life Admin. This refers to the logistics of living a life independently, from budgeting your money to organising utility bills and managing your household.

Understanding every part of this yourself means you are never beholden to anyone else when it comes to living your life. Also, budgeting is a gateway to spending more equitably on yourself – something you do not need permission to do.

Learn from the best

Lastly, becoming a Strong Independent Woman might be a cliched journey for some, but whichever way you approach it you shouldn’t do it altogether alone.

Ideas about what makes a confident woman are not generated in a vacuum; they are built on a tradition of other women, paving the way in their unique way. As such, you should actively seek to take influence from others, whether friends and family you admire or the writings of famous thinkers and feminists, from Susan Sontag to Paris Lees.

You can pin this image to refer to this post again later