The arbitrary thoughts we have when we lose someone and losing someone we love is one of the most difficult things we will ever go through.
It can throw up so many different emotions and actions. You, may upon instinct, aim to protect the ones you love more or find yourself thinking it’s time to live your life as if it was the last day
But there is no guarantee of what you may experience. But here are some thoughts that anybody may mull over in our minds to accompany our grief, which can be on the arbitrary side…
The Surrealism of a Funeral
In one respect it’s something that we want to get out of the way. But conversely, we may have to put it off so much in our minds because of its finality. And even though the ceremony itself is the culmination of so many different emotions and actions, we find the strangest thoughts come into our heads. Because death is a full stop in life. We may find ourselves focusing on things that didn’t matter before.
Anybody that has been gravestone shopping before through Davis Memorials and dealing with the funeral arrangers may not have considered just how someone should be immortalised on a piece of stone. Ultimately, it’s some writing, but these little things come into complete focus
The surreal experience of a funeral and the rituals that we experience during this time can leave a lasting impact on us. It’s interesting if you ever meet the person driving the hearse, they are incredibly chatty and friendly even when giving you the instructions on how to carry the coffin on your shoulders!
Surreal is the tip of the iceberg in many ways.
It’s the Small Moments That Mattered
You don’t feel that you need to talk about the small moments in life because they don’t matter at the time. But it’s these things that we think about more when we lose someone. Life isn’t necessarily about the big laugh out loud moments. But it’s those conversations that you had once and never will again that you hang onto.
It’s amazing what the brain keeps stored in the memory banks. And those small moments can be more important than the many things you went through together.
When it’s a moment that you both shared together, it’s something that nobody else will have experienced. Even if it’s someone you haven’t seen for a long time these thoughts crystallise the person in your mind. Even if you haven’t seen them for 10 years you will still miss them and when they left this planet perhaps you didn’t matter in their thoughts as much anymore or they thought you didn’t care.
But when we lose someone, whether we saw them last week or 10 years ago, the small moments in life that have such an impact on what you are more than you realise. And it’s so difficult to explain to someone in hindsight about silly little things that you both shared, but this is what made your relationship unique.
Losing someone is always a hard thing to deal with. When people talk about grief, they don’t always talk about the arbitrary thoughts we have when we lose someone. And we should celebrate these just as much.
*this is a collaborative post