Breaking up is always difficult, but sometimes it’s the right thing to do
You get peace of mind knowing that you walked away from something that wasn’t right
Now have the opportunity to improve yourself, grow and develop
Here are some of the ways you can become more independent and stand on your own two feet
Find a place to live
Often, breaking up means finding a new place to live. Maybe you were living in a home that belonged to your partner
Perhaps after a split, neither of you can afford the property you were living in and have to go your separate ways
You might choose to move house after a breakup since a property can harbour lots of memories, which could be painful if you stay and hinder your recovery. If you’re on a budget, you could always look for a studio apartment for rent
It might be small but you could make it home, and it could give you the chance to save up for six months to a year so you can move onto your next permanent home without having to rush the decision.
Get your finances in order
Speaking of saving up, your next step after a breakup would be to get your finances in order. You will need to decide how assets are split up, and if you’re married this could involve the help of a solicitor. You’ll need to close any joint bank accounts, and make sure that joint bills are paid up and sorted out. You’ll need to work out all of your outgoings again, ensuring that you can afford everything on your own salary.
Learn to drive
If you don’t already drive, it’s well worth learning to do so
Being able to drive and having access to your own vehicle gives you so much independence. It’s a goal you can set for yourself, and it gives you something to work on which can also be useful when you’re going through a difficult time
You might feel like you can’t afford a car, but actually if you add up your bus fares, train tickets, taxis and uber costs for the month you might find that driving will work out a lot cheaper
You can get to work easily, you can visit friends, you can travel to new places and even go shopping much more conveniently with a car. If you need to get somewhere, there’s no messing around asking for lifts or working out public transport. You can hop in your car and go.
Start a new hobby (or pick up an old one again)
In a couple it’s easy to drop things like hobbies
You can end up becoming a single unit, instead of going out and pursuing your own interests
Use this as a time to find out what you enjoy again, start a new hobby or re-join one that you used to love
It’s a great way to socialise, meet new people and spend your time productively. If you choose a hobby that keeps you fit, you can essentially kill two birds with one stone
Rope in a friend to come to the gym or to a class with you, it’s time that you can socialise as well as tone up, lose weight and feel fantastic
You could take an evening class at a local college, or even start a hobby from home
Take blogging for example, there’s still lots of opportunities to meet people since there are lots of meet ups and social media parties thrown by those that enjoy the hobby.
Get used to doing things alone
Finally, doing things without your partner can take a bit of getting used to. It’s not to say you need to always be alone, after all, friends and socialising is important. But it’s the day to day things that can take a little adjustment- get used to cooking for one, sleeping in bed on your own and doing the tasks around the house that your partner once did
Even going out and grocery shopping by yourself can feel strange if you always did it with your partner, but you’ll soon adapt. And actually, doing things alone can feel really empowering
It reminds you that you’re strong and capable, and chances are you’ll be more efficient since there’s no need to compromise with anyone else.
Have you ever been in this position after a breakup? What did you do to get your independence back?
*this is a collaborative post